In this article, I will be discussing three simple keys for achieving balance as a mom so you can feel more fulfilled.
Being a mom comes with so many challenges. One of these challenges is achieving a balanced life. Moms have to constantly switch between roles and usually feel pulled in different directions. It’s a constant struggle.
I’m a mom of twin boys and a daughter two years apart. In my bid to find what works for my circumstances, i have tried being a full time working mom, a full time stay at home , a part time working mom, a work from home working mom not to mention a full time entrepreneur mom. My experience with all these circumstances has proved to me that motherhood is not easy no matter what type of mom you are.
what is life balance?
Life balance is one thing I always struggled with. I thought life balance was about having a perfect schedule, being my best in all my roles and yielding excellence in all these areas of my life. So I woke up every day trying to be the best wife, best mom, best employee, best minister’s wife, best home maker, best entrepreneur, etc.
With time I realized that this way of defining and achieving balance is not realistic. It only led me to feel more and more frustrated and unfulfilled. I felt empty and drained because I had over-exerted myself.
So I went on a quest to find how I can achieve balance as a mom. My research helped me to discover that life balance must start from within. Being balanced does not mean perfection in all my roles.
I realized that I needed to define life balance as achieving a balanced point of view of my life. I realized i did not feel fulfilled because i was so busy trying to look good in the eyes of people and i had neglected very vital areas of my life like self-care, self development, fun & recreation. To me these were at the bottom of the list and very low priority.
Below are three simple keys for achieving balance as a mom.
Even though i am not the perfect mom, or perfect wife, or perfect entrepreneur, these three simple keys for achieving balance have given me that inner sense of fulfillment I need to keep pushing hard.
1. Develop a Balanced Point of View of Your Life
The first key for achieving balance as a mom is to develop a balanced point of view.
Moms are usually focused on only a few things in their lives. These are usually the things that are outside them, like kids, marriage, work/income generator. So we tend to neglect the other areas of our lives which affect us directly like self care, spirituality, fun & recreation, creativity, health, and so on.
In order to achieve balance as a mom and be more fulfilled, moms have to shift their focus from being single focused and start focusing on all these things that affect their emotional, physical and psychological well being.
How can you develop a balanced point of view?
You must first of all acknowledge at least eight areas of your life that are important to you. These areas may include Business and Career, Finances, Health, Family and Friends, Romance, Personal Growth, Fun and Recreation, Physical Environment, Spirituality, Self image, to mention but a few
Next, you must set goals for every important area of your life. A Lot of the moms I work with usually realise at this point of the exercise that they have only been setting goals for their kids, career/business and marriage. They usually get an aha moment and come to understand why they feel out of balance. Setting goals for all these areas make you have a balanced focus and gives you a blueprint for achieving fulfillment in life.
2. Switch your Self-Care Priorities
I was brought up to always put myself last in everything so I can be selfless and empathetic. So before i had kids my priorities were God first, my marriage second, ministry third, then myself last.
After I had kids, my priorities switched to God first, family second, ministry third and myself last. These priorities are my core values. They also keep me from being selfish and self scented and allow me to sacrifice and give my all to my family.
After five years of being a mom, i realized that something was not right as i felt so worn out and out of sync. I was neglecting my self-care all in the bid of sacrificing for my family and kids.
Little did I know that I need to turn my priorities around as a mom. Of course God always remains the number one and ultimate priority. However my self care needs to be put above the care of anyone else. Therefore I developed self care priorities which are different from my core value priorities.
I realized I need to take care of myself because that is the way I can be strong to give out my best to my kids and family. That is why when you sit in a plane, the pilot tells you that in case of an emergency, you need to secure your mask first before you help others.
If you can change your self care priorities and start focusing on your individual physical, mental and emotional needs, you will be able to achieve balance and feel more fulfilled so you can give your best to your kids, family and work. After all, you cannot give your best out of an empty cup. This is the second simple key for achieving balance as a mom.
3. Have the Right Mix of Drainers and Fillers on Your Schedule
Ally is a mom who works outside the house from 9am to 5pm and her work makes her feel drained. She comes home from work and takes care of her kids till they go to bed at 8pm. Then she does the house chores. She tries to finish off work projects then goes to bed by 11pm. She has this same routine all week. Saturday and Sunday are full days for watching the kids for which she feels so tired and drained.
Elise is a mom who also works out of the house 9am to 5pm in a job that is a drain. She comes home to watch her kids till they sleep at 8pm. She then does her chores and tries to catch up on her work till 10 pm. However, she makes sure she spends an hour before bed doing an activity that fills her up. That one hour a day is observed constantly from Monday to Sunday.
Which of these two moms do you think will be super drained/burnt out at the end of the week?
Obviously, Ally will feel more drained by the end of the week because all the activities in her week were drainers. She did not make time for filling activities.
On the other hand, Elise engaged in 7 hours of filling activities all week which may not be ideal but is enough to keep her at a good spot when it comes to burnout and feeling drained.
What are Your Personal Drainers and Fillers?
Every task or activity that you engage in as a mom either drains you or fills you. What is a drain to someone may be a filler to another. You need to recognize the activities in your life that drain you and make you feel empty/tired. You also need to recognize people and activities that fill you up and make you replenished/energized at the end of doing them.
You now have to make sure your weekly schedule has enough fillers to help you recuperate after you engage in the draining activities. In short, you need to have the right mix of activities (drains/fillers) so you can achieve inner balance and be more fulfilled. This is the third simple key for achieving balance in your life as a mom.
In conclusion achieving life balance as a mom is not about being perfect in all the roles you play. It is about having balance from within. 3 simple keys for achieving balance as a mom are:
- Develop a Balanced Point of View of Your Life
- Switch your Self-Care Priorities
- Have the Right Mix of Drainers and Fillers on Your Schedule
If you need help with implementing these three simple keys for achieving balance into your life so you can be more balanced and fulfilled, I am more than happy to work with you. Book your free breakthrough coaching session with me.
In this free session, we will delve into your current situation, what your obstacles are and ways you can move forward so you can live a more balanced and fulfilled life. Book your free session at empoweredforbalance.com/call
